The Void

There comes a point in life that you start wondering about what comes next. I have realized that by age 32, I have accomplished all that I can remember wanting to do. I graduated college, I got married to my high school sweetheart, I had kids, I bought a house, I started working at the school I always wanted to. I suppose the only goal I haven’t reached in becoming a millionaire… but hey, I guess there’s still time. 

I’m at a crossroads – I have become complacent in my daily life. I am content with life and it’s good. I am struggling with if I am happy. I feel a void, like something is missing. I’ve questioned that void. I’ve seen a doctor about that void. I was given a diagnosis of situational depression and anxiety, then prescribed an anti-depressant along with vitamin D. The initial response my body gave was good – then I became a zombie… along with all the “minor” side effects of the prescribed drug – low sex drive, gas, excessive yawning, just to name a few. To top it off, the void remained, possibly increased in size.

So here I am. 32. Sweet little family. Stable career. Goals achieved. Content. Right? What more could I want or ask for? How could I possibly have a void in my life? What could the void be?

I am on a mission to fill that void I am feeling. I want to feel complete – more than just content with my life. I want to feel inspired, desired, adventurous, successful, purposeful. I want to set goals and create new dreams, I want to keep living, but with excitement and happiness.

I will document my trials and errors and successes as they happen. I will write about the ups and downs, the setbacks and the accomplishments. I will be honest with myself about my thoughts and feelings. This may hurt some as I go – not intentionally but I can’t control everything. I must go on my journey now and stop watching as everyone else goes on theirs.