Vacation Prep

We have had a week long vacation planned for months. We will drive about 8 hours to mine for diamonds at Crater of Diamonds National Park. Finders keepers!! After a 2 night stay, and a very long, hot day of mining (my guess), we will drive another 8 hours to Perdido Key in Pensacola, Florida. Beach love here I come! We will spend 2 nights in an AirBNB and then journey home for 2 days – route TBD.

This will be our first major vacation with all 4 of us. Yes, Beckett has traveled, but not like this. We are squeezing as much into this vacation as we can by not staying anywhere too long and keeping our options open. We have a few things we would like to do, but our only must-dos are mine and swim in the Gulf of Mexico. My skin is in need of a saltwater soak!

In this past week, we have dehydrated apples, bananas, strawberries, mangoes and pineapple. Tyler made several pounds of beef jerky. I have organized snacks, drinks, and quick meals (PBJ), washed the laundry, packed up the kids, made lap boards for the kids, gathered activities for the kids, started to organize everything, scheduled someone to take care of our mail and gardens, and gone shopping for misc. items we will use. We have been busy and there is still more to do. Road trips for a family of 4, trying to be somewhat frugal in expenses can be tricky. I also think I’m earning my vacation just by preparing for it. I know I’m leaving something out and we will end up leaving something behind. That is how life goes.

This vacation is set up for Cambry. We planned this trip with her in mind, as our focus. She has always enjoyed rocks. Truly! She has a very full collection of different rock types. She is always wanting to mine and dig for new ones. She also has a love for Minecraft. We thought we would bring the mining to life for her at Crater of Diamonds. Obviously, we aren’t guaranteed a diamond, but we are hoping the dig will be plenty fun! She also chose the beach. The closest ‘real’ beach, saltwater beach, is over 15 hours away from us. Mining just happened to be the halfway point. We kinda lucked out there. Cambry went to the beach with us at 4 months old. She has been begging to go back so she can remember it for a couple years now. Who am I to deny such a request?? I too love the beach and plan to enjoy every minute of this Cambrycation we are going on – minus maybe a few hours of the actual in van car ride.

Progress???....

Sooo…I’m not perfect.

I started working out – I have worked out 3 out of 4 days. The first day was strong, an hour total. The second day, about 30 minutes, maybe. Today I did a quick 7 minute workout from some app I downloaded for $3.99. 7 minutes is better than none, right? I am rocking the 7-8 hours of sleep! Granted – it’s summertime and I do not have to report to work. Lucky me!

My eating/drinking habits haven’t changed much. I finished off the cookie dough, a bag of chips, and ate plenty of candy from the carnival parade and Dr. Pepper tastes just as good as ever.

I guess this is my progress not perfection moment….

I will continue to work out and exercise. I need to find what is right for me. I love a quick 7-minute workout. Could I do more? Oh yes. Will I do more? Eventually. I will continue to do me. If I want to work out for 30 minutes, I’ll do 30. If I only want to do 7 minutes, I’ll do 7. This is for me. This is what I make it. I can’t break my spirit down already. I just started. I will celebrate my small successes and work through my failures. Progress, not perfection.

Scale…Scale…Scale…bleh.

There is no worse thought than what rolls through the brain of a woman stepping on a scale. I made the worst mistake and stepped on the scale after steak and cornbread for dinner, 32 oz of water, and s’mores around the fire. 148.5! One hundred forty-eight point five! To many, this number is a goal. For me, this number is less than 10 lbs away from my weight the day I went in to have my first child. That was a little over 7 years ago – but what the hell??? Yes, I had a little more to eat this evening than normal, but I also know that it is only a few pounds off from my morning weight.

My immediate thoughts were: ‘Gross’ ‘Look how fat you are’ ‘You should’ve kept exercising’ ‘What detox/juice diet can you do before you leave on vacation?’ ‘I can’t believe he still wants me’ ‘I’m disgusting’ ‘How did you get here?’

How did I get here???! Dr. Pepper, sugar, stress and lack of self-discipline. This is where I become #1, I take back my focus and give it to myself, set goals and work my ass off – literally! I have to be honest with myself. I probably won’t be giving up Dr. Pepper, at least not immediately. However, I could cut back to 1 can or bottle a day. I could exercise – at least go walking every day. Funny how chasing after kids and running errands and cleaning the house don’t actually burn enough calories in a day. I don’t eat terribly. I enjoy fruits and veggies, but I have a hard time turning down steak and potatoes. I guess this is where ‘balance’ comes in to play. Finally, math class starts to pay off!

Goal: Lose 10 lbs (I could lose more, but I want to make it achieveable)

How?

1.    Reduce Dr. Pepper intake – 1 can or bottle per day

2.  Exercise Daily

a.  Take Emmy (dog) for a walk

b.  Youtube video – I’ve heard about PopSugar so I might check those out

c.  Home workout – I have a ton of fitness magazines that have a lot of exercises plus the exercises everyone knows from high school

3.  Eat less junk

4.  Sleep 8 hours – Research shows that if you get the recommended hours of sleep, your health and metabolism improve.

Why?

1.    I want to feel better about myself.

2.  I want my kids to know that you should take care of yourself – ALWAYS! I need them to see that I care about myself too.

3.  Overall health. So many bad things happen due to excess weight – This will help with my stress and anxiety and mindset.

4.  To be hot again – to me not just my husband. It is always so difficult to see what he sees or tells me he sees.

5.  I deserve it!

When do I start?

RIGHT F*CKING NOW!

Being my own baby

I have often told my husband that I want another baby - that would be #3. I would love to hold, smell and care for another tiny being. The only thing they would need in the world is me caring for them; loving them. Then reality hits as I gaze on my 2 children – a girl and a boy. I loved pregnancy, I loved infancy, I liked toddler stage, but this whole ‘kid’ phase is more than I am cut out for. I’m constantly yelling ‘Pick up your toys’, ‘Clean your rooms’, ‘Don’t pick your nose’, ‘Put on underwear’, ‘Take a bath’, ‘Brush your teeth’, ‘Brush your hair’, ‘Be nice,’ etc. I’m constantly judging myself as a parent. Noting my worst moments – today, I made my daughter cry because she couldn’t find the hair ties in her room that I helped her clean 3 days ago. I snapped – her hair will be the death of me this summer…. I called my husband and told him what a horrible mother I am as I simultaneously tell my son he cannot have a snack and that he will have to wait for lunch. The main reason I won’t let him have a snack isn’t because of lunch, it’s his whiney voice. I wonder if he has a ‘normal’ voice or if whiney voice is his real voice. I CAN’T TAKE IT!!!

This is why I will be my next baby! I am my #3 about to take control and become my #1. I haven’t taken care of me first since I found out I was having a baby 8 years ago. My life has been focused on making sure everyone surrounding me has exactly what they need and almost everything they want. In that process, I have deprived them of what they really need and want – a mother that loves them unconditionally (which I do) but also takes the time to take care of herself so she can be better for them. I WILL BE my next baby. It is time I put my needs first and take care of me.